vacation + time anxiety

I'm on day 3 of my week long vacation and so far it's been going good however I can't shake this anxiety of not having enough time. I want to do so much and a week just isn't going to cut it. In the days leading to my vacation I imagined myself doing lots of reading, cooking, cleaning, organizing, vision boarding, and coming up with a name for my practice. Thus far I've done a lot of sleeping and a lot of TV watching. I've been trying to be ok with going with the flow and not controlling my time but and I admit it does feel relaxing to not have my days planned out but when I think about what I should be doing I'm overcome with anxiousness. The reality is that I shouldn't be doing anything rather I should just be...meaning being in the present. When I feel anxiety over time I have to talk myself out of it and remind myself that I have the all the time in the world. May not necessarily be true but like the saying goes you gotta fake till you make it.

Monday I had my first reiki session which went very well. I felt this amazing surge of energy throughout my body and at two points during the session I felt this need to cry but stopped myself. I do not know why I felt the need to cry but I do know that I will reach that point where I will allow myself to cry. My practitioner mentioned that she sensed I was a very high energy person and when it comes to things like creating balance, managing my time, getting over my fears and just really living fully I need to learn how to manage my energy. This is something I never considered in my own path to health and healing but I am curious to see where my research leads me. I've already created a list of some books to read. My next session is in two weeks and hopefully the reiki along with my sessions at Spinal Harmony will help me uncover ways to balance my self and live more optimally.

Today I had my spa day at Pratima. My anxiety over time kinda got in the way of me feeling totally relaxed and my racing mind kept me from feeling in the present and so I found it a bit difficult to feel fully relaxed. My facial was great and my massage was good however I feel as if I got jipped out of the 90 minutes. Plus I wish the masseuse spent more time on my back which is where I need it most. I also had a body scrub but wasn't to fond of it as I spend most of the time feeling cold. During my body scrub and massage I received a head massage which didn't feel like much of anything and just left my hair super oily. Plus when I left the person who checked me out didn't take off the 15% discount for coming in on a Tuesday. Luckily I had a review before coming to the spa and someone had mentioned that when they too checked out they did not receive the discount and were a little upset that the spa didn't offer it automatically. The good news is that I received my 15% off both treatments (the massage was already discounted) instead of just one as advertised on the site so better for me. I may not go back to Pratima but regardless it was nice to treat myself.

It's getting late, it's raining and I'm feeling sleepy. I'm really hoping to come up with a name for my practice at some point during my vacation. I have business cards made up with Gracious Being Living but that name just doesn't do it for me. I've been brainstorming and know that I either want "wholelving" or "wellness" in the name. I feel that once I get my name than everything else will fall into place. Ahhh...starting to feel anxiety again!

time and money freedom part II

Today at work as I was sitting in my cubicle staring at a spreadsheet I began to think of what time and money freedom really means to me:

*Create the space to fulfill my desires
*Create the energy and vitality to fully experience life
*Have the ability to help those who seek my gift of healing
*Be more in the present
*Be my best in all areas of my life

Time and money freedom means to me being fully present in each moment of my life and experiencing the grand richness of my deepest desires. It means devoting myself fully-mind, body, heart and soul-to those who are seeking their divine authentic self. It means being me.

time and money freedom

Time and money have been on my mind a lot this week. Mainly because I am feeling a bit stretched between my full time job, my life coaching class, my psychology of eating class, my business strategy sessions and just life in general. I've been watching less TV however I still as if I there aren't enough hours in a day for me to get all that I want done. It will be nice if I didn't spend nearly 50 hours of my week sitting in a cube however I need the money. Time and money are what I am in desperate need of. I am however not being too needy of them since that can send out negative energy. I am constantly telling myself that I have plenty of time and that money is making it's way to me. The more I stay in this positive mindset the more I feel time and money freedom at my fingertips. And that feeling brings a smile to my face :)

feeling

Even though I've been excited about the year ahead I felt a little blah, like something was missing. I mean I'd like to think that I am a very positive person and I do not let things get to me. I figured it was maybe the frigid temps and the crazy days at work that was making me feel a bit down but deep down I knew that wasn't it.

So in anticipation of a "2009 is 2000Mine" lecture be Gabrielle Bernstein I was attending Wednesday evening I decided to check out her website and listen to some of her past lectures. I was listening to her lecture on manifesting desires for 2009 when it suddenly clicked for me. Not only do I need to think positive but I have to feel it too. I think back to the times when I manifested something and in those moments I remember being totally engaged with life and just feeling so happy. I need to get myself back into that kind of feeling.

On Friday I received my Millionaire Success Secrets for Women audio program and have been listening to it everyday since then. I received the audio program as part of my coach certification training and I have to say that the program is doing a pretty good job of making me feel great. I'm so inspired by Sandy's personal story and her genuinity in wanting what she has for everyone else in the world. I also started reading her book "How to Wildly Wealthy Fast" and I seriously believe that everyone should read her book.

Both Gabrielle and Sandy focus on the law of attraction and between their teachings I'm really starting to feel a shift in my energy. In the last few days I find myself taking more responsibility for my desires (taking action) and letting the Universe know that I am very much serious about what I want. I've been thinking about what I most want to transpire for 2009 in addition to launching my business and that is to move to the West Village and be with my Love. It's funny because my top three desires for 2009 are exactly the same three I had when I was a student the The School for Womanly Arts. The difference is that this time my desires are more clear, they reflect who I truly am and I completely feel more ready for them. Most importantly I feel as if I have them already and that feeling in itself speaks volumes.

Happy 2009 is 2000Mine!

another sign from the universe

I was browsing through a blog and followed a link to Yahoo horoscopes. My career 2009 horoscope is yet another positive sign from the Universe that I am on the right path:

Year 2009 Career
The Aquarian energy of 2009 encourages you to weave new dreams into peoples' lives, and to help them feel at home in the world. Success grows as exemplify your visions, attracting people who appreciate your compassion to raise their consciousness to a new level. In your service to help others realize deeper realities, you become more aware and sensitive to your own connection to the powers that be.

Your profound ability to explore transformation and share wisdom with large communities helps you find a welcome place in society. The love you discover through your own transformation will bring abundant manifestations for others. As you help people heal their consciousness, they can more easily find sanctuary from harsh realities. Your sensitivity to their needs reaches into the deepest realms of a their psyche.

For those who wish also to support change in the world, emotional affinity comes easily between you and your peers. From time-to-time this year, step back and reflect on the deeper purpose of your life's work. Be sure to make decisions that match your own objectives, values and goals, and don't allow yourself to be swayed by others desires. Maintain your individuality. Getting in touch with your dreams will help you know which direction is best to take in your effort to expand your beliefs and be of service in a much larger way.

The more I follow my heart the more the resources that I need most to support me appear before me. It's what makes my journey so amazing :)

signs from the Universe

Happy 2009!

I am super excited for the upcoming year and the feeling of change and new beginnings it brings along. A few months ago I announced my vision for 2009 but a nasty belief that I have been harboring creates some resistance towards bringing that vision to fruition. The negative belief that seems to healthily thrive in my mind is the belief that I am not good enough.

I shared this belief with the other women in my Modern Women's Soul Retreat class and the response was to look for signs of encouragement that show I am being supported. Well my first sign came in the form of my January 2009 horoscope. Now I very rarely read my horoscope but something compelled me to do so last night and when I read what was in the stars for me I was brought to tears. Here is a little bit of what my horoscope has to say:

Next year, you will enter your golden epoch when Jupiter enters Pisces on January 17, 2010. By then you will need to be free of old obligations that no longer interest you so that you can pursue new, bigger opportunities next year. That should be part of your plan moving forward, dear Pisces. Perfect your strategy!

Because you will be the celestial favorite of 2010, the universe will ask you to make specific preparations for your golden year, and in the best possible shape. It is a time to draw up new goals because next year you will begin a new twelve-year chapter. The new goals you draw up will be very important, for those will carry you forward through the next decade or longer.

In the year ahead, you would do well to work alone on your creative projects and other assignments. Working in solitude will create your biggest professional successes, for that is clear in your chart. This is not a year for you to work in teams but rather work alone, reflecting, thinking, tinkering, and creating your own vision. You need to set forth a pure vision that YOU see, untainted by the opinions of others.

This journey I am on...the journey of transitioning from corporate america to my own health & wellness pracitce is a journey that I am following because deep inside I feel now I am ready. This is the year I fully come into my own and prepare myself for sharing my gift with the world. It is so nice to come across a sign from the Universe that tells me that I am truly on the right path. As I learned in Mama Gena's...my timing is perfect and elegant :)

I encourage you to create a clear vision of what you most deep in your soul want to manifest for yourself and open yourself to receiving the signs of the Universe. Trust me...they are out there if you are willing to see them.

2009 here i come!

As I mentioned in my last post it has been really busy. I can't believe that my 4 day holiday weekend is over and it's back to work tomorrow. Where does the time go?

I have a lot going on in 2009 particularly the launch of my business but one thing that I most want to achieve is to not be so busy! In order to live out my grand vision I need to put myself first more often otherwise I'll never be what I most want to be.

I'm very optimistic about 2009 and all that will be happening (at least what I know will be happening!) I'm furthering my health counseling training by studying at the Institute for the Psychology of Eating. I also decided to get certified as a life coach through the Inspired Spirit Coaching Academy. Helping others live their authentic lives is deep down in my heart what I love to do and continuously learning is the best way I can provide the best to those I work with. Plus I still have my own barriers that I am working through and surrounding myself with support will help me get past those barriers.

Happy 2009! May 2009 be a year of learning, growing and sharing and may all that you experience bring you a step closer to the life of your dreams :)